閱讀識字 English Reading Made Easy

Dear Amy: My daughter turned 18 in May. She has recently met a guy who is also 18 and lives with his 21-year-old brother in an apartment.

My daughter has been spending the night there several times a week.

When I voiced my displeasure, she explained that I'm old-fashioned. She says this is what kids do when they turn 18: "They crash at each other's apartments."

She still lives at home and will leave for college in September.

What's wrong with this?

Am I wrong to be upset that she just drops in for meals and clean clothes?

-- Worried Dad

Dear Worried: If your daughter lives at home, then she should also sleep at home.

If she no longer lives at home, you should pack her things into those giant plastic tubs and deliver the tubs to wherever she is living, the way you will do when she goes to college.

Then she can come home for an occasional meal as a non-resident dinner guest.

I know this is tough because you might not want to push her toward this relationship, but she is already doing as she pleases, and you obviously have no authority.

I say that you have no authority because for you, her accusation that you are "old-fashioned" seems to be a sufficient explanation for her behavior.

Some parents might not mind what your daughter is doing, but if you mind, that's what should matter the most in your home.

I can tell you from experience that 18-year-olds today do exactly what they've always done: whatever they can get away with. When I ran your letter past my own 20-year-old, she rolled her eyes -- not over your daughter, but over you.

Please get some clarity about this and be prepared to communicate your position to your daughter.